CR chart

[gorillatama]

Still working on this, the coding is going to drive me insane and I'm going to end up murdering someone with a tractor

Kotaro Katsura Gintama "Zura", "Wig Virgin who Can't Drive", "Waifu", ect to the pragmatic gorilla chief, Katsura was originally one of the many banes of Kondo's career; he and his Shinsengumi comrades had spent many a 9-5s chasing the criminal over rooftops and into noodle shops. Since coming to Holly Heights the two have struck up an odd and gross sense of kinship and often model citizen home (????). Thanks to their values and determination to keep their adopted children happy their relationship has become friendly to the point of vomit. They, being opposite sides of the blindfold of justice, still clash over things but despite that they still sleep in the same bed every night. Or the couch when Kondo's gas is particularly bad. Kondo would do pretty much anything, especially embarrassing things, to make Zura happy and show that cute side. ✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪ Keepcalmandbomb.

Miu Matsuoka Strawberry Marshmallow "Princess", "Future President", "Muffinikins". Through a twist of fate that had nothing to do with Zura's fallopian tubes, Miu is his (technically step) daughter, one of an irreplaceable pair of precious girls he's come to love and cherish despite the lack of blood relation. Miu's an adorable, spunky, playful and above all willful young lady Kondo is proud to call his own (loud enough to be heard three blocks over, often enough) and though he knows she plays little pranks and might rule the elementary school very soon, she's actually a sweet girl with boundless kindness. Kondo would do anything just to make her happy. ✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪ Extremelycute.

Yozora Mikazuki Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai "Yoz-chan", "Tsunberry Shortcake", Yozora is another miracle not thanks to Zura's fallopian tubes! Yozora casts a tough inner shell but her soft gooey insides are that of a warm hearted, humble, beautiful, shy and tsundere young lady. He's been recently working on complimenting her as much as possible, to build her up, because Kondo knows she needs to hear it more often. Since realizing the pain she holds inside, the doubt, Kondo's taken it upon himself to do whatever he can to make her smile. She puts on this tough front but she's definitely a softie with a heart of gold, one Kondo couldn't be prouder of. ✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪ Girlmemo.

Rise Kujikawa Persona 4 "Ri-chan", Rise is the current child that's blessed their happy home. Apparently she was on the up and up as an idol back where she's from! So it's no wonder she's so sweet and good at posing. They met on a rainy afternoon so Kondo has a tendency to make dumb rainy anecdotes on such days, reveling in being that embarrassing dad. The fact that Rise rolls with it makes her all the more a real idol. Kondo also has the tendency to screen potential fanboys with an iron banana and also to ask for Rise's autograph on occasion. He looks forward to making more fun memories as a family together. ✪✪✪✪✪✪ Popstar.

Yoshitake Tanaka Daily Lives of High School Boys "Yoshi-kun". Much like his green dinosaur (???? iguana...? dragon??) counterpart, Yoshitake is a wordsmith. Or he's got a will as strong as his cast iron stomach, whatever. This boy isn't ridden into the sunset, oh no! He's a real hero to his friends in the form of loud declarations and awkward fumblings for the zipper like a true hot blooded teen! But for all of this he's got a good heart and a good head on his shoulders, something Kondo admires. When they first met Yoshitake went above and beyond the call of main character and self sacrifice when he offered Kondo his jacket to cover his ass. Literally. And that's always touched Kondo's heart. And ass. Thus he's taken the young man under his wing and values and leans upon his friendship and courage every day. He'll protect the kid till the end. ✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪ Onenipple.

Headpats.

Kotetsu T. Kaburagi Daily Lives of High School Boys "Kotits-san", "My Little Bankai". Kotetsu was another of the first people to come to Kondo's rescue upon the rude, naked awakening the gorilla gave the poor hostages of Holly Heights. Now, upon first eyeful Kotetsu figured Kondo was an actual animal that had sprung a jail break or he belonged in a home for the stupidly insane.......and that hasn't really changed with time. It probably never will. But the two of the struck up an irritating (Kondo) and admirable (Kotetsu) camaraderie. They even worked together from time to time, Kondo really looked up to the older hero. And then Kotetsu left, only to return with no memory of Holly Heights or the bonds made there. Saddened, but determined to help his comrade, Kondo has reached out to Kotetsu, forging a stronger (weirder...) bond. It's a privilege to fight with him and watch his back. He's always touched and surprised when the other man slings fatherly advice at him, and he's grateful Kotetsu cares about his daughters. Even if he's a little jealous they go to him about their problems, he'd rather it be a great guy like Kotetsu than anyone else. They owe each other many, many drinks. On that note, it's so encouraging and sexy to see another May-December couple around here. (That's him and Bunny, right...? It's gotta be.) ✪✪✪✪✪✪ Headpats.

Headpats.

Quistis Trepe Final Fantasy VIII "Quistis-san", "Q-sama". Kondo likes to think he helped guide Quistis when she first arrived and was still adjusting but even he knows she had a handle on it from the beginning, even when she wasn't so confident in that. He did, however, have a penchant for surprising her in their conversations. Not always in a good way, but it seems as if she did take some of his talk to heart and could draw some strength from his words, which makes him relieved. Since their fragile and downright confusing beginnings, they've become good friends and trusted comrades. He's honored to know such a sharp, kind and strong young woman and he honestly couldn't be prouder to see her take others under her wing and guide them and protect them fiercely with absolutely everything she has. He'll always feel the need to worry about her because that's just what friends do, but he's also content to step back and watch her do her thing. All in all he'll protect her, his young bossu, with everything he has. Not because he thinks she isn't strong, with that whip, are you fucking kidding, she kills the man, man. It's because she's incredibly strong that he also knows her gentle nature, her softer feelings, and, well. The more on your six the merrier. ✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪ Nagkya.

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Seifer Almasy Final Fantasy VIII "Widow's Peak-kun", "Are You Really Bald-kun", "Hair Buddy". Formerly Kondo and Katsura's next door neighbor, Seifer is another young comrade at the LEU as well as a friend of Quistis-san's. From what he's vaguely and on the DL heard from her their relationship is pretty rocky and complicated, but Quistis cares about him hand in hand with wanting to throttle him. Though Kondo and Seifer's interactions have been few and far between he knows the young man cares for her as well despite his cool, bad boy and dickhead persona. The young man goes out of his way to push people away from him as well as get under their skin so they don't easily forget him. It's not an unfamiliar outlook. Thus Kondo has taken it upon himself to send Seifer tips on hair care. With that he hopes to befriend the troubled young man. He also remembers he owes he and Quistis dinner at his and Zura's some time, damn. ✪✪✪✪ Firecross.

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Sougo Okita Gintama The gorilla has known Sougo since he was a wee little mite cheating at training with tree bark instead of a branch. He's seen Sougo as his brother, his bosom friend, his own child in some cases, a most trusted ally, one of his most trusted men, all wrapped up into one. He never doubts his 1st division Captain, not his loyalty or his strength or his motives. Kondo's faith is unshakable. When first arriving at HH Sougo was there to guide him, confuse him, and also comfort him in his own way (the familiarity of shit talking). As always, Kondo would be lost without his dear friend. It was wonderful and familiar, working together for the benefit of people, even if these people were strangers and weirdos (hello pot, this is kettle), why, Sougo even had a family here and Kondo couldn't be prouder or cry anymore. He's always enjoyed watching his young friend grow up before his eyes but seeing him in this setting was a real treat. Some things never change. ✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪ Sadoslash.

Toushirou Hijikata Gintama "Toushi" to the pragmatic gorilla chief, Hijikata is more than just his second in command and one of his most dedicated men: he's one of his closest friends. He's been through hell and back with Kondo, because of Kondo, and all he can do to show just how much he cares and appreciates what he's done is to meddle- er, take a healthy interest in making sure Toushi laughs as much as possible. But really spikes to his blood pressure are more frequent. ✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪ Mayoboro.

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Patsuan.

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Pachintoki.

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Bruisingly.

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Mitsubaw.

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Shoubai.

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Kagura Gintama "China" to Kondo and the gang, Kagura is one more occasional comrade from home and general pain in the ass. She's strong as fuck, will eat you out of house and home without an ounce of remorse and he's pretty sure she's started a gang of young people who are obsessed with altering people's perfectly trimmed hair. Thanks to Zura. All in all, though, she's a girl with a girl's loves and laughter and sweets and warm heart and inner strength that draws other people to her even when others are repelled by her nosepicking and aforementioned eating. She's honorary sisters with his girls, very close with them, which he's thankful for. When she was here she was up to her usual shenanigans with the rest of Those Guys...he misses it. ✪✪✪✪✪ Chinagirl.

Glasses Gintama "Brother-in-law", "Glasses". Shinpachi arrived in a flash and a spritz of glass cleaning solution one dark and stormy night at HH. Or maybe it was snowing, it's hard to remember that sort of stuff. The boy proved to be his straightman, reasonable, yet excitable self again and again. And time and time again Shinpachi has proven to have a good head on his shoulders along with a great big heart. He didn't see as much of him as he did Otae or Kagura, but he knows the kid was going out of his way to help others as well as cockblock Kondo. He hopes he'll accept his rightful place as one of Kondo's Groom's Gents at his and Otae-san's wedding. He misses his shrieking voice sometimes. ✪✪✪✪✪ Patsuan.

Gintoki Sakata Gintama "Yorozuya". Apparently he and Zura From Before got pregnant and had Miu and Yozora, long story incredibly short. He didn't see much of Gintoki at HH, figures the guy was sleeping or dancing between the line of unemployment and sugar induced coma, but as their protagonist he knows Gintoki is a good man, the best! Lazy, gross, a pervert, lazy, dead fish eyes, terrible genes-- but he's got a heart of gold- er, silver. Always has. He's always valued the times they've fought together for a cause better and bigger than themselves. And he'll always, always, always be grateful to him for caring for Miu and Yozora, for loving them and giving his heart to them and healing their hearts as well as his own. He's a good man and that's all there is to it. ✪✪✪✪✪ Pachintoki.

Tae Shimura Gintama Otaaaaaaaeeee-saaaaaaaaaaan", "Waifu". The actual love of his goddamn life. Otae's strong and gorgeous, her voice is like the sound of Angels having great honeymoon rompings around the clouds, but most of all she's one of the most caring and kind people he's ever met. It was love at first sight, the first sound of her (seeming) acceptance of him. Those are the kind of people that inevitably touch Kondo's heart for eternity. And punch his dick for eternity but he deems it worth it. Let's not get into an essay about how head over heels in love he is with her. Her time in HH was fleeting but it was magical and it did bring his spirits up considerably, it strengthened his heart...at the same time devistating him when she was sent home again. However he can rest easily knowing she and the rest of the crew are back home, and happy, and safe most importantly. ✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪ Bruisingly.

Mitsuba Okita Gintama "Mitsuba-chan". The older sister and mother figure of his dear friend Sougo as well as the beloved of Toshi. Mitsuba had one of the strongest hearts he's ever encountered. She was sick and frail and addicted strangely to spicy foods but she could shake mountains with her words and her kindness and her soft eyes. She touched people's hearts in ways that made them change forever, want to be strong and change because of her for her. Her kindness was unfathomable and limitless, she drew misfits and lonely hearts to her like moths to a flame and instead of burning them she gave them shelter and helped them. They had many happy times together. She missed many more happy times with Sougo and Toshi because of him and, secretly, despite knowing it was for a worthy cause, he feels guilty for it. Her time in HH was short but it impacted the three of them, and many new friends, so deeply. He hopes she returned to happier times...and he's so, so unshakably glad she and Toshi got to see each other one last time. ✪✪✪✪✪✪✪ Mitsubaw.

Tatsuma Sakamoto Gintama "Brother-in-law", "Nipple amateur". Fuzzy haired piece of shit PLACE HOLDER text ✪✪✪✪✪ Shoubai.