(305):

My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".

(330):

You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.

(708):

He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.